Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I'm sorry. The person you're trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please hang up and try again. Beeeep.

Oh. My. Good. Gravy. 8-6 at daycare. 6-8 at church. Umm... That makes *counts on fingers*.... 12 hours of kids today. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love working with these kids who I absolutely adore (that is a movie quote. Kudos to anyone who knows which movie it is). It's just that I am so stinking tired. I think I need intraveneous caffeine... Do they make that yet? If not, it's only a matter of time. But anyway, I really don't *need* to be posting this right now... I should be doing something productive. However, I've gotten to the point that if I don't get at least some of my thoughts out, I'll go even more crazy than I already am. Which would not be a good thing, AT ALL. If I were to get any crazier, I'm pretty sure I'd be put in a mental institution. Of course, if I keep getting more and more stressed without bothering to relieve any of it, I'll have a psychotic breakdown and wind up in a mental institution anyway. So, either way, I need to chill. I think I need to start exercising again. It's great stress relief, and I need to get toned... But it's all a matter of time, rather, the lack thereof. I know I make time to blog, but blogging takes far less time than a legitimate workout, considering my definition of a "workout". I mean, even if I take it easy and only do 30 minutes to an hour, I still don't have that kind of time. I need to though. Although this job is probably making me lose weight. I hardly have time to eat, and I'm constantly moving or picking kids up. It's crazy. But enough about that mess.

So, just because I know I have at least two people interested in this boy stuff (you know who you are), I'll post a teeny bit about that whole deal. Okay, so for starters, my friend who shall remain nameless, yet I know will read this, has determined that I should go talk to *him*. I think she's a total nutcase for even suggesting this, as I am HORRIBLE at talking to people... especially guys I actually like. Also, she said I shouldn't fight liking *him*, which I currently am, because fighting it implies that I don't really trust God. However, I like to think that by fighting it I am proving I do trust God, because I'm not leaning on my own emotions to tell me what God wants. That, and I know I'll get hurt if I do let myself like *him*, and I don't want that, so I'm not going to. I'm not saying *he* would intentionally hurt me. I'm just saying that unrequited emotions and dashed hopes tend to be slightly painful, and I'm not up for that. At least not yet. I've been hurt too many times to voluntarily let myself be hurt. That's just s-t-u-pid, stupid. So, I'm going to fight it and try to be patient... Just going to wait for God to do this in His own time. Which usually means it's going to take a while... I guess I have no other choice... Oh well. But anyway, one of the brothers mentioned in a previous post actually admitted that he likes me... Which makes me sad, because I don't want to hurt him. So he and I talked about it, and I made him promise to not do that to himself. Besides, he has another girl he likes too, so it should be okay... hopefully. Now if I can just make myself not like... well, you know who, then we'll be great...

But for right now, I think I need to go shower then clean my room... Since it's 11 and I have to be up early tomorrow... Okay... Seriously, I'm shutting up now... Okay... Goodnight, and God bless.

Oh, and I shall keep you two ladies filled in on my guy issues if you would like. Love you, Mrs. L and Ms. R. :) You guys rock.


  1. I don't think you caught my drift dear. I really meant you shouldn't fight it because it will make you like him worse. It's like fighting sinking sand. ON the trusting god thing, I was saying you can't fear getting hurt again because that isn't trusting God. If you are trusing god with your relationships, you'll trust you won't get hurt again. Shutting yourself off to relationships to avoid pain is still a form of controlling your relationships...make sense now. I typed it here bc it is easier than texting.

  2. But I would get hurt with *him*, so it can't be what God wants, right? Therefore, I need to not like him...