Perfection.

Today my dad sent me a link to a blog post by Dan of Single Dad Laughing. If you have time, I really recommend it. It's kinda lenghthy, but it is completely worth it. The end is so powerful. You can read it here:

http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html


So, because I don't mind sharing my imperfections, I figured I should take a huge leap for me and admit some of my flaws.

1. I was suicidal for quite a while about 3 years ago. I had a note written and it all planned out. I would have taken my own life, had my mom not found the note before I wanted her too.

2. I blamed myself for most of the bad things that have happened in my life, and the lives of my family. I'm just now learning to overcome that self-blame.

3. I hate it when people compliment me, because I feel like they secretly just feel sorry for me, and they don't really mean it.

4. I have horrible self-esteem. It's getting better, but it isn't good...

5. I love to sing, but I don't know if I'm a good singer, so I rarely use my "real voice" when I sing around other people.

6. One of my biggest fears/obstacles is that I'm paranoid that I'm annoying or that people just don't like me and won't tell me to my face.

7. I hide at social events/church/parties/family events/etc because I'm afraid of people. I would rather work at said events than have to face my fear and actually hang out with people.

8. I sometimes fear that I will never amount to anything because of my own inhibitions.

9. I never feel good enough, so I overcompensate in any way I can.

10. I honestly feel like if I just disappeared, no one would notice, much less care, so I alternate between hiding away and being wild and crazy so people will notice me.


I think ten is enough for now. If anyone reads this and wants to post theirs in the comments, feel free to do so. I love you all. Good night and God bless.

MNF.

Are you ready for some FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!?!? All I can say is that Monday Night Football is the only good reason to wake up and survive on Mondays. Seriously, you think I'm kidding... I'm not. MNF=LOVE.


Anyway, enough about true love. So today I wore this shirt I got on Saturday... It's got (old school) Wonder Woman on it and it says "Yeah, I'm pretty super"... Of course I was quizzing the school kids at work to see how many knew who she was... the closest anyone came was a five year old girl who said it was Wonder Girl. The farthest anyone was off was a five year old boy who said it was Ariel (as in The Little Mermaid). The absolute best response? Well, a sweetie named Logan said, with a certainty that was just spectacular, "That's Ms. Cait!" Ms. Kayla responded "No, who's on Ms. Caitlin's shirt?" And Logan repeated "That's Ms. Cait!" (Yeah, no matter how many times anyone tells him my name is CaitLIN, he argues with them and insists my name is Ms. Cait... it's so cute though!). I cannot say I was offended to be confused with Wonder Woman... She is stinkin' GORGEOUS. Anyhoo...


OH! Important news: Jackson.... well.... he got hurt.... Yeah, he was riding the new dirtbike my grandparents bought.... Went a little too fast and hit the tongue of my Papa's trailer... He has a laceration on his liver, bruises on his liver and abdominal muscles, large blister/scrape on his tummy/chest, a concussion, amnesia surrounding the wreck and subsequent ambulance ride and ER trip, and a sore arm. So basically, he needs some prayer. Poor baby is always getting hurt doing things he really shouldn't be doing....


So... I'm just throwing this out there... I think I'm officially half dude, half grandma... At least, at this present moment I am.... Watching football, drinking Dr Pepper, eating junk food, and knitting... Oh me, oh my... Oh well.... Well, I'm gonna get back to the game... Love you all. Goodnight and God bless.