Monday, June 28, 2010

Thoreau is my hereau. (Yes, I just did that.)

So I have a new addition to my bucket list. I have decided I want to spend at least a year, minimum, in a cabin in the mountains. I love the outdoors and I hate living in "cookie cutter suburbia". To me, it's just another way of conforming to societal norms, which I generally try to avoid. I hate it, so I want to try living out in the middle of nowhere. However, I kind of want to wait until I'm married to try it. And I most certainly do not want children while living out there. That just wouldn't be fair to them, in my opinion. But as long as I can find a man who is just as outdoorsy as I am. Actually, if he's more outdoorsy, that would be awesome. I just know that I'm waiting right now. I'm trying to be patient for God to send me the man He wants for me. But I kind of want it now, so that I can fulfill most of my dreams. I'll be patient though. I kind of have no choice in the matter. I'm pretty psyched about this goal though. Oh, and an explanation of the title may be in order. It is a reference to Thoreau's time spent living in the forest, just like I want to do. I thought it was a rather fitting name. But, alas, now I must partake in my food, in order that I not waste away. Later, y'all. Be good and God bless.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

God, beauty, and men...

Yeah, this may get deep... So if you're in the mood for light reading, come back later and I'll see what I can do. Currently, I have some stuff on my mind, and I figure a blog (which very few, if any, people read) is a good place to get said "stuff" off of my mind.

Okay, so I've had some "boy problems" here lately. After breaking up with Zack, I found a new man. Unfortunately, my parents did NOT approve at all. So after some stupid moves on my part, that ended. I was very bummed, but I can't have men driving me away from my family. Okay, so that's manageable. The problem is this: I may have TWO boys that like me, at least a little. You may be wondering how this is a problem. They're brothers and way too young for me. I mean, I love them to pieces, but... I would feel like a baby-sitter. Heck, half the time I felt that way with Zack, and he was two years OLDER than me. Another little problem... well, not so much a problem as just an oddity. The two boys have an older (25 year old) brother whom my parents both think would be the kind of man I need. Weird things about this: a) He pretty much gave up on women after his ex-wife screwed him over. b) They barely know him. c) I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go for me. d) I barely know him. e) It was totally random. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's exactly the type of man I would love to be with, but I just don't know him personally all that well. I know he's an electrical engineer, he has an amazing family, he's a very sweet guy, he's smart, outdoorsy, funny, sarcastic, really good looking, and VERY manly... But that's about it. So this is where God came into play. I was pondering all these things as I was getting ready for church this morning, and I'll admit it, I got a little upset. I was talking to God, and got a tiny bit frustrated. I believe I said something along the lines of "You know what? Screw it. If you want me to have a man, you have to send him to me. I'm not looking anymore. I quit. Everytime I do anything, I wind up hurt, so you can just do it for me. And I don't even care if you never send anyone. I'm fed up with heartbreak, so I'm leaving all the work for you to do." Now, I know it was wrong of me to be that rude, especially to God, but I was talking to Emily Pendergrass about it tonight and she said something that totally made sense. She said that maybe God wanted me to give it over to Him, even if it meant I got mad about it. And that makes sense. He just wants me to allow Him to put His plan for me into action, but I have to let Him. That's always been the hard part for me. I know some people can just turn things over to God with very few qualms about it, but I'm a control freak. If I don't have complete control over things, I get scared, angry, nervous, worried, and stressed. I can't handle it. And that's what I have to do with stuff. I have to force myself to give it over to God and then NOT take it all back. But at this point, I'm so frustrated that I don't even care anymore. For all I care, I can be single for the rest of my life. If I want kids, I'll adopt or something. I don't need a man... I want one... But whatever. I won't die without one. I would enjoy having a man though... But whatever. That ball is in God's court now.

So, now for the beauty part of the post. As you may or may not know, I have self-esteem issues. I always have, actually. Well, today, Emily and I were talking about my issues, and she gave me a piece of wisdom that I feel I should share with y'all. She said that before Adam and Eve, Lucifer was the beautiful one. He was truly beautiful. Then he turned against God and was cast out of Heaven. So God created man to be a leader, caregiver, protector, etc. He created women for beauty and to bring forth life. So Satan, the ex-epitome of beauty, is now pretty much out to get women. Women are beautiful, like he was, givers of life, while he tries to take life. Now add in being a Christian, and it's a triple threat. He HATES us. So, from now on, when someone says something negative about your appearance, or you think something negative about your appearance (or anyone else's, for that matter), it's not just humanity, it is spiritual warfare, and should be dealt with as such. I thought that was pretty deep.

Alright, so this post may not have been as deep as one might expect, but it's slightly deeper than the previous few. But now I must attempt to sleep. Good night, and God bless.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Waking up before I go to sleep, 'cause I'll be rocking this party 8 days a week

Yeah, that's the Beastie Boys. Yes, they do rock. And, yep, those are lyrics from No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn. Good stuff right there. And I feel that way pretty frequently. At least the part about waking up before I go to sleep. Although last night, I was out cold by 9:30. I guess that's the good thing about having a migraine. The shoulder pain made it hard to stay asleep though. But that's okay. I'm not dying, and therefore, I'm not going to the doctor until the pain severely interferes with life. Currently it's just a painful nuisance. It's manageable, so I don't care too much. Plus, I HATE going to the doctor. So, anyway, I have been enjoying my new job... for the most part anyway. I mean, yeah, there have been a few days when I just didn't want to go in at all, but overall, it's a decent job and I enjoy it. I love working with kids, especially the school kids. Which, for some reason, no one else does, except for Danielle and I. But I have now worked in every classroom except the two nurseries, which is totally fine with me. I honestly don't want to work in the nurseries there. I love working with the kids 3 years old and up, although yesterday I had a very "interesting" experience with one of my 3 year olds. He told me he needed to "go potty" and he's potty trained, so I said he could go. He walked into the bathroom, and came out about two minutes later, soaking wet. He had gone into the bathroom so he could pee in his pants. Luckily, he had extra clothes, but for the rest of the day he was bragging to everyone that he "peed his pants". But aside from that sort of thing, which apparently isn't too uncommon, it's a fairly easy job.

Okay, so now I shall share with you all a wonderful story I heard this morning. And by "wonderful", I mean "ridiculous", and by "story", I mean "facebook status update". Today, my friend Lisa, who works at our church posted this lovely status update: "I just went outside at the church to get my morning biscuit my wonderful husband brings me every day and someone egged the church door! Why do people do such things as that?" My response? "Why would you egg a CHURCH? That's like asking God to reach down and slap you." I mean, really?! That's just s-t-u-pid, stupid. (Thanks, Mama Em, for allowing me to borrow your catchphrase".) Seriously though, what kind of idiots do that? Someone suggested it was some bored teens... Okay, that makes sense, but what kind of kids are awake at 8 or 9 in the morning?! I mean, besides me... But I can't sleep late... Especially today, since I had to call in at 8 to see if Cabot Patch needed me. They didn't. Not until my scheduled shift at 2. But anyway, that's my story. It was great, right?

So, I shall leave you with a video of the Beastie Boys performing No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn.

Have fun, y'all.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Oh good gravy...

"Oh, good gravy." That has become one of the few things I say now. I have been so stressed and busy that its all I say... its okay though. So, today I was called into work early and given my own classroom. Now, usually they wait like 2 weeks before giving someone new a room to themselves, but a ton of teachers called in sick, so I got to work the "school kids room". This room is up to 20 kids, ages 5 and up, and I'm alone. I was flipping out. Luckily, it all went really well, and Amy (I'm not positive on her title, but I know she's my superior) said I did really well, even better than most others did on their first time. I was pretty proud of that. But before all of that occurred, I was helping out on another classroom, and I hit my head extremely hard when I stood up under a TV. I really think it almost knocked me out. My head still hurts... I'm okay though, promise. So anyway, there's only one more night of VBS, then Saturday is cleanup, Sunday is church, and after church I'm helping Jon make pizza dough for Wednesday night. Basically, I'm becoming a very busy girl. And I may be getting sick from the stress... again. I'll just have to start meditating or something. I don't have time to be sick. Haha, so I'll stop whining now... I have to get ready for bed anyway. I've got some bible quizzing to catch up on.Goodnight y'all, and God bless.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Short, whiny, and to the point... kind of.

And so it begins. Clocked out at work at 6:01 and made it to church (without speeding!) by 6:10. All I've got to say is that headaches and children don't mix... and 6 ibuprofin every few hours didn't even slow this bad boy down... what makes it even worse is the knowledge that I have to do it all over again... EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS WEEK. I'm already ready for this weekend to get here. The silver lining is that I know I'm making a difference in the life of a child. That makes up for all the pain and suffering. Okay, I'm out for now. Peace out, y'all.

Friday, June 11, 2010

NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

I got a job at Cabot Patch Kids!!! God truly came through for me with this one. If I wouldn't have gotten this job, I would have had to get a job working *gasp* restaurants or retail... which I would despise with a passion. And, yes, I am fully aware that working with children every day may be frustrating at times, but I KNOW it will have its rewards. Rewards that no other job can supply. I'm so excited about this! And the job interview literally lasted 5 minutes, plus a 10 minute "sit-in session", in which I got to sit in on a Pre-K class. There were 4 or 5 little girls who immediately came and sat on/around me and seemed very fascinated with me. It was pretty awesome, actually. I start Monday, 2:30-6, which will make for a very interesting day, considering VBS kicks off Monday at 6... I'll just be running a little late, I suppose. Which I hate, but I guess it's out of my hands.

Anyhoo, I have a ton of reading/memorizing to do for Bible Bee, because, as a teacher, I should learn all that I ask the kids to learn, and I'm a little behind... Or a lot behind. I'll catch up though. So for now, I must say goodnight. God bless you all.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

New look for the blog and a (seemingly) endless job hunt...

Seriously, is it IMPOSSIBLE to get a job that is NOT in the restaurant/major retail store industry?! As an 18 year old with no job experience, yes, apparently it is impossible. Argh. I truly want to work in a daycare, but Magness Creek ELC hasn't even looked at ANY applications yet (I turned mine in a full week ago). I'll be calling Cabot Patch Kids tomorrow, though a full time job at Magness would be soooo much better than part time at Cabot Patch. Although right now, anything is better than nothing. I really wish I could just get paid to work for the church, but that's not going to happen. I wish it would though... that would save me a lot of trouble, since I already do plenty of work for the church. If I were paid, I'd do tons more. But you know what they say: "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride."

Enough complaining for now... So I hope everyone likes the new design of my little blog. I decided the background picture should be of something I'm deeply in love with, and books seemed like the logical choice. I've been a book-aholic for many years now and I don't think that's going to change any time soon. Actually, in my dream house, I would have a library 3 stories high, walls fully lined with bookshelves, bookshelves packed with books. Old ones, new ones, big ones, small ones, any kind of book you could ever imagine. Even if I never read them all, just seeing books makes me happy. Especially those in someone's private library. Oh, and of course, my library would have a skylight for a ceiling with a huge overstuffed chair and a fireplace. I've had this planned out for years now. I could very easily buy that many books, too. No problems whatsoever.

So now that I've bored you all to death with my talk of jobs and books... One of my friends on Facebook posted a quote today that I found very funny: "Just heard BP stopped the leak. They put a wedding ring on it, and it quit putting out." I just about died laughing. Also, I saw a brand name last night that struck me as, well, interesting, to say the least. What was this brand name? G Sus Sindustries. If you don't get it, read it aloud. If you still don't get it, ask someone nearby. My mouth literally dropped when I read it. I was completely shocked.

So, I decided you guys deserve to hear a great song from an awesome guy from my hometown of Longview, Texas. I even met him a couple of times, since Meg went to school with his son. Who is this fantastic artist? Neal McCoy. What's the song? Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On.

T-t-t-t-hat's all folks!

Monday, June 7, 2010

new cars and job hunts. :)

So I got my first car that's all mine! It's a 2001 Ford Taurus and it's beautiful. It only needs an air compressor and a new antenna and it will be great! I'm so happy! Now no one will have to chauffeur me around.

So, because I now have insurance to pay and college coming up, I am deep in a hunt for a decent job... I applied at 3 daycares thus far, although I would prefer one in particular... Y'all just please pray I get something, anything, that will give me some good hours and let me off for church. Thanks in advance.

That's all for now, folks, but I will leave you with a challenge: go out of your way to do something great for someone today. Even if you just buy someone lunch when they cant afford it, any act of kindness can be the thing that changes a person. Every little bit counts. Show someone God's great love. It will improve your day, too. God bless you all.

Friday, June 4, 2010

I'm back... :)

Yup, I have my phone again AND I downloaded the androblogger app, which allows me to post, read, and navigate any blog through the Blogger website. It's pretty rad, if you ask me. So anyway, I'm posting this from my phone as a trial run of sorts.

Wow... it's really been a while since I last posted... sorry about that. Not much has occurred in my absence though... I've been applying for jobs and cleaning house. Which reminds me... it would be super great if y'all could pray for me. I have to get a job, but I have one in mind that would be amazing.

Sorry I don't have more to say just yet, but I'll be back again soon. :)