Thursday, November 11, 2010


Today my dad sent me a link to a blog post by Dan of Single Dad Laughing. If you have time, I really recommend it. It's kinda lenghthy, but it is completely worth it. The end is so powerful. You can read it here:

So, because I don't mind sharing my imperfections, I figured I should take a huge leap for me and admit some of my flaws.

1. I was suicidal for quite a while about 3 years ago. I had a note written and it all planned out. I would have taken my own life, had my mom not found the note before I wanted her too.

2. I blamed myself for most of the bad things that have happened in my life, and the lives of my family. I'm just now learning to overcome that self-blame.

3. I hate it when people compliment me, because I feel like they secretly just feel sorry for me, and they don't really mean it.

4. I have horrible self-esteem. It's getting better, but it isn't good...

5. I love to sing, but I don't know if I'm a good singer, so I rarely use my "real voice" when I sing around other people.

6. One of my biggest fears/obstacles is that I'm paranoid that I'm annoying or that people just don't like me and won't tell me to my face.

7. I hide at social events/church/parties/family events/etc because I'm afraid of people. I would rather work at said events than have to face my fear and actually hang out with people.

8. I sometimes fear that I will never amount to anything because of my own inhibitions.

9. I never feel good enough, so I overcompensate in any way I can.

10. I honestly feel like if I just disappeared, no one would notice, much less care, so I alternate between hiding away and being wild and crazy so people will notice me.

I think ten is enough for now. If anyone reads this and wants to post theirs in the comments, feel free to do so. I love you all. Good night and God bless.


  1. Man, that's some heavy stuff!! First of all, I think a lot of people would notice if you disappeared. You are an awesome girl and you do a lot of things for a lot of people. I can totally relate to a lot of the stuff you wrote. Even as a 36 year old adult, I still struggle with those feelings of insecurity. I overcompensate by doing things that I don't even want to do so that I will please others. I always feel like I'm not good enough. I've especially felt like that lately. Feeling left out and unloved. I think maybe that is an attack by Satan to keep us down so that we aren't doing stuff for God. I know that lately I have withdrawn a lot from a lot of people because I have been feeling down. When I get this way, I go off alone. I don't want to be around people and then I feel worse. Like tonight for instance. I totally don't want to go to the Women's Dinner at church. I want to stay home and have a pity party and feel bad for myself, but I am making myself go anyway. I really don't want to, though. I think that the Devil just knows that we are totally awesome chicks that want to do big stuff for God and he will do whatever he can to stifle that!! He hits us at our emotions because we are very emotional people with big hearts and he knows that will hurt us most. I'm going to be praying for you lots, girlie! Pray for me, too?

    Love you!

  2. I will most definitely be praying for you!!

    Love you too!