Must be doing something right.. Oh, wait, no, no I'm not.

So, Seth admits he likes me, then decides that he should talk to Michael about it. Michael apparently thinks I'm a nice enough person, but I'm only 18, and he's used to having parents want their girls to be with him. So, that talk couldn't have just been about Seth liking me... Therefore, if anyone needs me, I'll be curled up in a hole in a cave on a mountain in the middle of nowhere so that I will NEVER have to show my face again. Especially around *him*. Also, I've decided that I'm just going to pretend I don't like *him* until I really don't... That usually works, right? Now, if I could just convince Seth to do the same... He said he likes me because, no matter how bad he screws up, I've always screwed up worse, and I never get mad at him for screwing up... Umm, I'm pretty sure that is NOT a good reason to like someone. Just saying, if someone is a huge screw up, you should probably avoid that person. And me not getting mad just means that I'm not a complete failure as a friend. That does not make me the person he should like. Argh. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's an awesome boy, and therein lies the problem. He's just a boy. That, and our personalities may work on a friendship level, but on a romantic one, it could NOT work at all. I hate to say that, because I don't want to hurt him... Maybe if I just keep pointing out my flaws, he'll stop liking me... I know that may not be the *best* plan ever, but I'm just hoping he'll realize that I'm not right for him. One can only hope, right?

I guess I'll find out... For now, I'm going to end this. I'll keep y'all updated on everything. Later.

Music=love.

So, I have no new guy news... Sorry, y'all.


Anyway, I had an... interesting day, to say the least. At the beginning of the day, I decided it was going to be a good day, no matter what. Well, life decided it didn't want me to have a good day, so life and I got into a fight. I grabbed life by the horns and just about had it in a chokehold, when life body-slammed me really hard. Apparently, life knows karate... Who knew? But I'm stubborn, so I got up, grabbed life by the horns again, swung it around, kneed it in the ribs, slammed in on the ground, spat in it's face. Basically, I beat life, and therefore my day, into submission. It turned out to be a good day. One of the things that made it a good day was when a three year old boy tried to sing Rain Is A Good Thing. Actual lyrics: "Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky." His lyrics: "Rain makes corn, frippy makes corn, frippy makes my baby happy." I'm not quite sure what "frippy" is, exactly, but if it makes his baby happy, I'm all for it. I may need some frippy, actually... Haha. Also, I got a fifteen minute nap. That was awesome, considering how hard my day had been prior to that. The classroom I taught in today had a janky toilet that decided to flood for no apparent reason, and when I say flood, I mean FLOOD. It was baaaaaad. And it occurred right at naptime, so none of the kids would lay down and go to sleep. Luckily, the other teacher came back shortly thereafter so I could go to lunch. It was still pretty rough... Not to mention the kids' behavior... Ugh. It was just bad. Nevertheless, it was a good day. And with that, I shall shut up... for now. I may come back later with more on my mind... We'll see! God bless!

I'm sorry. The person you're trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please hang up and try again. Beeeep.

Oh. My. Good. Gravy. 8-6 at daycare. 6-8 at church. Umm... That makes *counts on fingers*.... 12 hours of kids today. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love working with these kids who I absolutely adore (that is a movie quote. Kudos to anyone who knows which movie it is). It's just that I am so stinking tired. I think I need intraveneous caffeine... Do they make that yet? If not, it's only a matter of time. But anyway, I really don't *need* to be posting this right now... I should be doing something productive. However, I've gotten to the point that if I don't get at least some of my thoughts out, I'll go even more crazy than I already am. Which would not be a good thing, AT ALL. If I were to get any crazier, I'm pretty sure I'd be put in a mental institution. Of course, if I keep getting more and more stressed without bothering to relieve any of it, I'll have a psychotic breakdown and wind up in a mental institution anyway. So, either way, I need to chill. I think I need to start exercising again. It's great stress relief, and I need to get toned... But it's all a matter of time, rather, the lack thereof. I know I make time to blog, but blogging takes far less time than a legitimate workout, considering my definition of a "workout". I mean, even if I take it easy and only do 30 minutes to an hour, I still don't have that kind of time. I need to though. Although this job is probably making me lose weight. I hardly have time to eat, and I'm constantly moving or picking kids up. It's crazy. But enough about that mess.



So, just because I know I have at least two people interested in this boy stuff (you know who you are), I'll post a teeny bit about that whole deal. Okay, so for starters, my friend who shall remain nameless, yet I know will read this, has determined that I should go talk to *him*. I think she's a total nutcase for even suggesting this, as I am HORRIBLE at talking to people... especially guys I actually like. Also, she said I shouldn't fight liking *him*, which I currently am, because fighting it implies that I don't really trust God. However, I like to think that by fighting it I am proving I do trust God, because I'm not leaning on my own emotions to tell me what God wants. That, and I know I'll get hurt if I do let myself like *him*, and I don't want that, so I'm not going to. I'm not saying *he* would intentionally hurt me. I'm just saying that unrequited emotions and dashed hopes tend to be slightly painful, and I'm not up for that. At least not yet. I've been hurt too many times to voluntarily let myself be hurt. That's just s-t-u-pid, stupid. So, I'm going to fight it and try to be patient... Just going to wait for God to do this in His own time. Which usually means it's going to take a while... I guess I have no other choice... Oh well. But anyway, one of the brothers mentioned in a previous post actually admitted that he likes me... Which makes me sad, because I don't want to hurt him. So he and I talked about it, and I made him promise to not do that to himself. Besides, he has another girl he likes too, so it should be okay... hopefully. Now if I can just make myself not like... well, you know who, then we'll be great...



But for right now, I think I need to go shower then clean my room... Since it's 11 and I have to be up early tomorrow... Okay... Seriously, I'm shutting up now... Okay... Goodnight, and God bless.



Oh, and I shall keep you two ladies filled in on my guy issues if you would like. Love you, Mrs. L and Ms. R. :) You guys rock.

Oopsie daisy...

So I just realized that I accidentally deleted my previous post... oops. I promise it was an accident and I'll post a new one ASAP. Good night and God bless.

Thoreau is my hereau. (Yes, I just did that.)

So I have a new addition to my bucket list. I have decided I want to spend at least a year, minimum, in a cabin in the mountains. I love the outdoors and I hate living in "cookie cutter suburbia". To me, it's just another way of conforming to societal norms, which I generally try to avoid. I hate it, so I want to try living out in the middle of nowhere. However, I kind of want to wait until I'm married to try it. And I most certainly do not want children while living out there. That just wouldn't be fair to them, in my opinion. But as long as I can find a man who is just as outdoorsy as I am. Actually, if he's more outdoorsy, that would be awesome. I just know that I'm waiting right now. I'm trying to be patient for God to send me the man He wants for me. But I kind of want it now, so that I can fulfill most of my dreams. I'll be patient though. I kind of have no choice in the matter. I'm pretty psyched about this goal though. Oh, and an explanation of the title may be in order. It is a reference to Thoreau's time spent living in the forest, just like I want to do. I thought it was a rather fitting name. But, alas, now I must partake in my food, in order that I not waste away. Later, y'all. Be good and God bless.

God, beauty, and men...

Yeah, this may get deep... So if you're in the mood for light reading, come back later and I'll see what I can do. Currently, I have some stuff on my mind, and I figure a blog (which very few, if any, people read) is a good place to get said "stuff" off of my mind.

Okay, so I've had some "boy problems" here lately. After breaking up with Zack, I found a new man. Unfortunately, my parents did NOT approve at all. So after some stupid moves on my part, that ended. I was very bummed, but I can't have men driving me away from my family. Okay, so that's manageable. The problem is this: I may have TWO boys that like me, at least a little. You may be wondering how this is a problem. They're brothers and way too young for me. I mean, I love them to pieces, but... I would feel like a baby-sitter. Heck, half the time I felt that way with Zack, and he was two years OLDER than me. Another little problem... well, not so much a problem as just an oddity. The two boys have an older (25 year old) brother whom my parents both think would be the kind of man I need. Weird things about this: a) He pretty much gave up on women after his ex-wife screwed him over. b) They barely know him. c) I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go for me. d) I barely know him. e) It was totally random. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's exactly the type of man I would love to be with, but I just don't know him personally all that well. I know he's an electrical engineer, he has an amazing family, he's a very sweet guy, he's smart, outdoorsy, funny, sarcastic, really good looking, and VERY manly... But that's about it. So this is where God came into play. I was pondering all these things as I was getting ready for church this morning, and I'll admit it, I got a little upset. I was talking to God, and got a tiny bit frustrated. I believe I said something along the lines of "You know what? Screw it. If you want me to have a man, you have to send him to me. I'm not looking anymore. I quit. Everytime I do anything, I wind up hurt, so you can just do it for me. And I don't even care if you never send anyone. I'm fed up with heartbreak, so I'm leaving all the work for you to do." Now, I know it was wrong of me to be that rude, especially to God, but I was talking to Emily Pendergrass about it tonight and she said something that totally made sense. She said that maybe God wanted me to give it over to Him, even if it meant I got mad about it. And that makes sense. He just wants me to allow Him to put His plan for me into action, but I have to let Him. That's always been the hard part for me. I know some people can just turn things over to God with very few qualms about it, but I'm a control freak. If I don't have complete control over things, I get scared, angry, nervous, worried, and stressed. I can't handle it. And that's what I have to do with stuff. I have to force myself to give it over to God and then NOT take it all back. But at this point, I'm so frustrated that I don't even care anymore. For all I care, I can be single for the rest of my life. If I want kids, I'll adopt or something. I don't need a man... I want one... But whatever. I won't die without one. I would enjoy having a man though... But whatever. That ball is in God's court now.



So, now for the beauty part of the post. As you may or may not know, I have self-esteem issues. I always have, actually. Well, today, Emily and I were talking about my issues, and she gave me a piece of wisdom that I feel I should share with y'all. She said that before Adam and Eve, Lucifer was the beautiful one. He was truly beautiful. Then he turned against God and was cast out of Heaven. So God created man to be a leader, caregiver, protector, etc. He created women for beauty and to bring forth life. So Satan, the ex-epitome of beauty, is now pretty much out to get women. Women are beautiful, like he was, givers of life, while he tries to take life. Now add in being a Christian, and it's a triple threat. He HATES us. So, from now on, when someone says something negative about your appearance, or you think something negative about your appearance (or anyone else's, for that matter), it's not just humanity, it is spiritual warfare, and should be dealt with as such. I thought that was pretty deep.


Alright, so this post may not have been as deep as one might expect, but it's slightly deeper than the previous few. But now I must attempt to sleep. Good night, and God bless.

Waking up before I go to sleep, 'cause I'll be rocking this party 8 days a week

Yeah, that's the Beastie Boys. Yes, they do rock. And, yep, those are lyrics from No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn. Good stuff right there. And I feel that way pretty frequently. At least the part about waking up before I go to sleep. Although last night, I was out cold by 9:30. I guess that's the good thing about having a migraine. The shoulder pain made it hard to stay asleep though. But that's okay. I'm not dying, and therefore, I'm not going to the doctor until the pain severely interferes with life. Currently it's just a painful nuisance. It's manageable, so I don't care too much. Plus, I HATE going to the doctor. So, anyway, I have been enjoying my new job... for the most part anyway. I mean, yeah, there have been a few days when I just didn't want to go in at all, but overall, it's a decent job and I enjoy it. I love working with kids, especially the school kids. Which, for some reason, no one else does, except for Danielle and I. But I have now worked in every classroom except the two nurseries, which is totally fine with me. I honestly don't want to work in the nurseries there. I love working with the kids 3 years old and up, although yesterday I had a very "interesting" experience with one of my 3 year olds. He told me he needed to "go potty" and he's potty trained, so I said he could go. He walked into the bathroom, and came out about two minutes later, soaking wet. He had gone into the bathroom so he could pee in his pants. Luckily, he had extra clothes, but for the rest of the day he was bragging to everyone that he "peed his pants". But aside from that sort of thing, which apparently isn't too uncommon, it's a fairly easy job.


Okay, so now I shall share with you all a wonderful story I heard this morning. And by "wonderful", I mean "ridiculous", and by "story", I mean "facebook status update". Today, my friend Lisa, who works at our church posted this lovely status update: "I just went outside at the church to get my morning biscuit my wonderful husband brings me every day and someone egged the church door! Why do people do such things as that?" My response? "Why would you egg a CHURCH? That's like asking God to reach down and slap you." I mean, really?! That's just s-t-u-pid, stupid. (Thanks, Mama Em, for allowing me to borrow your catchphrase".) Seriously though, what kind of idiots do that? Someone suggested it was some bored teens... Okay, that makes sense, but what kind of kids are awake at 8 or 9 in the morning?! I mean, besides me... But I can't sleep late... Especially today, since I had to call in at 8 to see if Cabot Patch needed me. They didn't. Not until my scheduled shift at 2. But anyway, that's my story. It was great, right?


So, I shall leave you with a video of the Beastie Boys performing No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn.

http://www.youtube.com/user/crazy4jesus22#p/f/8/07Y0cy-nvAg

Have fun, y'all.