"We'll all be drinking that free bubble up, and eating that rainbow stew..." :)

So I had a good night... My day wasn't so hot, but my night was good. I slept for literally TWENTY HOURS STRAIGHT. Yeah... I had a migraine... But Megan forced me to go out with her tonight. We went to Chili's and then the Midnight Oil Coffeehouse in Searcy. When we arrived, there was a live show going on. The musician? Matthew Huff.. He's not only a fantastic singer/guitarist/songwriter, but he's pretty darn cute too. This guy we met while there kept trying to get me to go talk to him, since he and Matthew are friends, but I'm way too shy for that mess... It's a curse.... Ohh well. One day I'll be able to talk to guys... Maybe.. Doubt it... But whatever. I guess when the time is right, either I'll have the confidence to approach the man who's "the one", or he'll approach me and I won't totally blow it. I'm just being patient and waiting on that day to come.


Anyway... I think I need a vacation. One of the dads at daycare came to get his kid and when he saw me, he said "You look like you need a vacation!" I think he may be right... Considering how tired/stressed/frustrated I've been, which is probably the biggest reason for all my migraines lately... Speaking of stress... Yesterday, my Papa got to see me get REALLY angry. I was driving with him and this guy just pulled out right in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes so hard that my Anti-Lock kicked in. I literally punched the horn. I was so mad, I was shaking. All Papa said was "That guy didn't even look!". He said nothing about the fact that his sweet little granddaughter just punched a steering wheel (and didn't even flinch). Oh, it was bad. But I got over it and had a good day. I'm just saying though, if you make me mad enough that I honk at you, you've made me pretty mad. That was only the second time I've used my horn (in an angry manner).

Okay, well, I should probably get ready for bed, even though I'm not tired... I know I need to sleep, or I'll be exhausted tomorrow... Before I go, though, I shall leave you with the link to Matthew Huff's website. He's REALLY good, so you should check him out! He can be found on Facebook and Twitter too!


www.matthewhuffmusic.com


Goodnight and God bless!!

Holy smokes, Batman!

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted... Well, I didn't have internet, so I can't really be blamed for that, can I? Okay, so I'll dive right in... Boys. Are. Stressful. I've been on one (basically) blind date... Bad idea. After ONE WEEK he was trying to meet my family and tell me he could be a "batter lover"... Did I mention he was kinda, umm, slow? Yeah.. Then a boy told me he loves me... Like, he's in love with me.. I replied "No you're not..." which confused him, but only for a bit... then I met a random boy in WalMart... Luckily, he hasn't been creepy. Then an ELEVEN YEAR OLD boy at work got in trouble from his daddy for intentionally getting a little too close to my chest area... Which he does frequently... So apparently, that isn't on accident. This is the same kid that said I have a "big butt"... I mean, good Lord, all I attract are creepers, perverts, and people way younger than me. Can I get a normal guy please? I guess God is just bombarding me with weirdos so that when I meet the right guy, he'll seem that much more amazing... It's gonna be great.. Can I request a country boy though? I love me some country boys... Dierks Bentley is my current love... haha.


Anyway, for those of you who haven't heard, I got a full ride plus $250 a semester for ASU Beebe for four years.. I think I'm going to major in Spanish, but I have no clue what to minor in! I don't know what I want to do, or even what I'm good at.. I just know I want to major in Spanish. Which means I really need to start working on my Spanish again... I've forgotten some. I'm excited though. I'm pretty proud of myself; I've had a year off, and I'm still pretty good.


So, we have officially moved in. Everything is unpacked and all. It's really nice out here, although I will say it was nicer back when I lived here alone... haha. I enjoy solitude, I suppose. It was nice to be able to be a total   dummy and know that no one would walk in on me... I could blare my music, dance around, and just generally act like myself without having to be quiet or worry about being a disturbance... I don't know what I'm going to do once I get married and don't even have my own room anymore! I guess I'll just have to marry a guy that likes me to be weird! Maybe one of those exists... somewhere...


Well, it's getting late, and I still have plenty to do tonight, so I'm going to sign off for now! Perhaps I'll be back soon (not that anyone really reads this... ha!). Love you all! Goodnight and God bless!

Blessed...

So, today, the power at my house went out. I was so frustrated. I had to shower (and shave my legs, which is scary enough with lights on... using sharp objects in the dark is mortifying!) with nothing but candles for lights. Then when I got out, I realized I couldn't get online, dry my hair, open the garage door to leave (I had to raise it manually), cook food, or even see to put on makeup. I was so frustrated. I legitimately thought to myself "This must be what it's like to live in a 3rd world country." Then I mentally slapped myself. That was the stupidest, most selfish, idiotic thing I could ever have even thought. I am ashamed to know that I thought that way. Because, although it did stink that my power was out, I had hot, clean water with which to shower, clean clothes to wear, a house to live in, a car to drive, money in my purse, the ability to drive to McDonald's to get food, a job to be headed to, a radio to listen to gospel music, the ability to learn about God without fear of imprisonment or death... The list goes on and on and on. I am blessed. We all are. Yet we sit here and whine about little things that don't even matter. Therefore, I'm going to start praying (though I'm pretty sure I already know the answer) about sponsoring a child through Holt International. I've wanted to for a while now, but my mom talked me out of it. However, it's only $30 a month. If I have to cut back on fast food or Dr Pepper, so be it. I'm sure my body will thank me for it anyway. I'm sorry I got preachy, but I see flaws in myself that I need to fix, and by posting them on here, I bring it from the back of my mind to the very front. So that's my preaching for tonight.


Anyway, I think I may have a small problem... I don't get hungry anymore... Well, I do, but I don't eat hardly anything and I'm full. Tonight I had a small piece of chicken for my dinner. That's it. I had a halfway normal lunch, but it's gotten to the point that I eat one to one and a half meals a day.. I haven't lost too much weight though, so I guess it's okay for now. I don't know if I'm getting depressed, or what, but I really don't want to deal with it right now. I have too much going on. Which reminds me, my schedule at work is changing... I was working 10-6, but as of March 28, I will be working 6:30-9:30, then 3-6... At least I'll have time to squeeze in a nap between loads of laundry before I have to go back in to work... Lord, have mercy. Plus, on Spring Break, I'll be pulling a full time shift. Yay. Then there's church stuff... And Torie now has it in her head that she needs to make me feel beautiful and worthy of love... So that's gonna be fun... and by fun, I mean that every time anyone tries that, I ultimately feel worse than I did to begin with. I walk away exceptionally aware of how single, unloved, and unattractive I feel.. And I can't tell people that, because no one will just listen. Everyone wants to "fix it". No one has figured out you can't "fix it". I just want to be able to tell someone how I feel. But I know that won't happen. I can't even put it all on here for fear that someone, somewhere is reading this. I need God. I'll stop whining now...


Goodnight, and may God continue to bless you..

Goooood moooorrrrningggg!

Apparently, if one has a migraine and falls asleep at 7, one will wake up at 5, still dressed from the day before wondering why she is even awake. I discovered that this morning. However, the migraine was gone and I now have plenty of time to take a loooong (like 30 whole minutes!) shower and even do some laundry before work! I just have this sensation that today will be a pleasant one (I gotta feelin', ooh, that tonight's gonna be a good night). I don't know why, since Seth isn't too happy with me... But, honestly, if he's gonna act like he has been, then I can't really care. So what that I have a new friend who's a cute guy? That's my choice. Chris (my new friend) is really nice to me. And he's also a VERY talented pianist/singer. Anyway, random thought! I got three temporary tattoos yesterday... One is a glow in the dark really cute teddy bear holding a chainsaw with blood on it (on my side), one is a gold rose (on my wrist), and one is a rose/bird design that says "love forever" (on my hip)... I know, I'm weird... This morning I also got a really strong desire to bake a cake... I'll have to see if my my momma wants me to make Bo's birthday cake. I could have some real fun with a rockstar cake for Bo! I'm just so full of random thoughts this morning... Jeez, if this is what I'm like when I get a full night's sleep, then I need to go back to not sleeping! I'm so hungry... I didn't eat last night, so all I ate yesterday was ONE PLATE at the Chinese buffet with a few bites of ice cream for dinner.. I really think I'm losing weight from being sick and having migraines all the time. Ha! While everyone else diets and works out to get ready for Spring Break, I just "magically" lose weight... It's great! I just wish I weren't single... I know I'm being stupid and selfish, but I just kinda want someone to first of all care when I'm sick, and secondly, maybe even take care of me a bit! But I know that won't happen... At least if I were dating, I would have someone to take care of... Oh well, in due time... I know how it works. Oh! So, yesterday at work, this kid told me I could be a rockstar. I asked him why he said that, since he's notorious for lying (every day he tells me I'm hot/cute/pretty and crap like that). He said "Because you have a pretty voice, Ms. Caitlin." He's like 11, so obviously I don't trust his musical opinion, but it was still funny. Anyway, I love you guys, but I'm gonna start getting ready... Love you all so much! God bless you, and have a really great day!



"My life is not my own, to You I belong, I give myself, I give myself to You. I give myself away, I give myself away so You can use me." --Israel Houghton

"Calling everybody, step in the lights and show a little love if you feel alright!"

KINGSDOWN ROCKS!! That's just in case you didn't already know that. I saw them tonight, and they're awesome!! Today was just a good day... after several days of migraines/sickness, today I didn't have one, plus the kids at work were pretty good, and I got to see Kingsdown! Taught some younger kiddos how to headbang/air guitar... Got them going hardcore with me! It was SO much fun! But now comes the work and general busyness... But it's okay... I'll live. Tomorrow, I have to be at the church at 8 to help set up for the Bible Bee Chili Cook Off and later for Elevation Renovations (yeah, I just made that name up...). Then MAYBE go see Kingsdown at the Rev Room... Except they don't go on until like 10-10:30ish... And it's daylight saving time tomorrow night... And Sunday is, well, a Sunday... But if all else fails, I'll invest in some 5 hour energy.. But anyway, I REALLY need a shower... Soooo badly. I'm gonna go take a quick one, and then hit the hay... I love you guys a whole, whole lot! I really do!! Have a good night, and may God bless you with all the blessings He has for you!

Slammed. Stressed. Overworked. Unappreciated. Unloved. Lonely. These are all really good ways of describing how I've felt these past few days... I know at least 80% of it is hormone related, but that means that 20% is my legitimate feeling. That SUCKS. I write it off as just hormones, but I know it's not... I don't know if I have high expectations for how I should be treated, or what, but I just feel really unimportant. I don't need to be the center of attention, but when I'm at a volunteer dinner with a TON of people I work with EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY and only a few people talk to me and only Isaac P. (a KID) is actually excited to see me, I just feel like no one even notices me. It's like the only time I'm noticed is when I'm needed. I guess it's good that people "need" me, but I also know that I'm replaceable. Easily. I don't even do that much. Realistically, I don't do anything. It looks like I do, but I really don't do anything important. I don't make a difference in anything at all. It just sucks knowing I'm not really important or needed... heck, half the time I don't even feel wanted. Maybe it really is just the hormones talking and I need to stop whining and just be grateful for what I have... I'll try that. I'm sorry for being whiny. Anyway, I love you all (all none of you that read this...). Goodnight and God bless!

"Slight figure of speech, I cut my chest wide open..." :)

So... I'm going to go see The Avett Brothers in April!! Unfortunately, I'll be going alone. At first, it was going to be Michael, Seth H., Ethan, Megan, Seth J., and me. Then Seth J. got a job that would prevent him from going. Then Meg found out that it wouldn't even start until 9, so she can't go. Then I found out that Seth and Ethan can't go, and I guess Michael can't either... Even if he can, that could be awkward... So, I'm alone, but I get to see them! I love The Avett Brothers. They make me smile! I'm just really super excited! The only downside, other than being alone (which, really, is becoming quite normal for me), is that I'll be up super late, and it's on a Saturday... I'm just going to have to buy some 5 hour energy shots to keep on hand Sunday at church. Haha, that would be great. And I'm old enough to buy them at Wal-Mart. So, at least that would be easy. Anyway, I have work in a little while, so I should probably go get ready. Love you guys! God bless!