Snow day!!

Tomorrow is officially a snow day for Cabot School District... which means it *should* be a snow day for Cabot Patch Kids!! I'm pretty excited! However, this means Stephanie's party, which was scheduled for tonight, has been postponed. The new date is TBA though. Seth's party was yesterday.. It was a blast! I made the cake, and it turned out okay, I suppose. I'm a perfectionist though, so nothing is ever good enough. But Jarrett H. said he may have to get me to make the cake for his three boys' joint birthday party, so apparently the cake was good enough to score more customers, based solely on appearance. It tasted pretty good, but I stole the recipes from Emily, so that's no surprise. I'm just glad everyone liked it. Seth even genuinely smiled when he saw it, which is AMAZING, since that boy never smiles because of gifts. I guess it's because the gift was food...

Anyway, I've been "working out" with Just Dance 2 for Wii and it is very effective. I have lost weight and visible inches, and I've gained muscle. Now I want Just Dance (the original) and Zumba. That would be so awesome!

Oh, I almost forgot! Boys! Yeah, so obviously there's Seth that likes me (well, I say he does... I wonder about that now)... Then I found out another boy, I'll call him "A", likes me too... That's okay though, since I rarely see him... THEN I found out ANOTHER boy, "E", likes me too! And I see him all the time! But he knows I don't like him, so it's okay... THEN I went out to eat all by myself and my waiter starts hitting on me! So I gave him my number (don't ask why, because I do NOT know).. But I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship, so he's okay... However, we met for coffee and, while having coffee, ANOTHER guy gave me HIS number! That's FIVE guys! Count 'em if you don't believe me! I have never had boys show interest in me until now! And now they're all crawling out of the woodwork at once! What on earth happened? What changed? Why now? Why is it that when I'm entirely not ready for a relationship, all these boys come knocking? Sometimes I wonder what God is doing... Then I remember that it's God, and He does all sorts of strange stuff... Still though...

No matter what, I have complete confidence that 2011 is going to be a rocking year! I have goals set, but not resolutions (who even keeps up with those for more than a month or two?)... For example, I'm going to knit as much as I can so that, come next winter, I'll have a TON of scarves and stuff to donate to shelters, hospitals, nursing homes, etc. I'm excited, and I already have a lot of yarn! And Ms. Bobbie bought most of it, so I have to use it or I'll feel like I'm letting her down... She said that, since carpal tunnel prevents her from actually knitting, her contribution to my goal is to help provide yarn. Which is pretty stinkin' helpful, if you ask me!

Anyway, I've got some knitting to do, so I shall bid you all farewell for now! God bless!


*Edit: Apparently, Seth no longer likes me... And "E" only halfway does, if that even makes sense... So yeah... That's all I'm going to say about that, or I just might lose my cool, calm, collected demeanor... again.

Perfection.

Today my dad sent me a link to a blog post by Dan of Single Dad Laughing. If you have time, I really recommend it. It's kinda lenghthy, but it is completely worth it. The end is so powerful. You can read it here:

http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html


So, because I don't mind sharing my imperfections, I figured I should take a huge leap for me and admit some of my flaws.

1. I was suicidal for quite a while about 3 years ago. I had a note written and it all planned out. I would have taken my own life, had my mom not found the note before I wanted her too.

2. I blamed myself for most of the bad things that have happened in my life, and the lives of my family. I'm just now learning to overcome that self-blame.

3. I hate it when people compliment me, because I feel like they secretly just feel sorry for me, and they don't really mean it.

4. I have horrible self-esteem. It's getting better, but it isn't good...

5. I love to sing, but I don't know if I'm a good singer, so I rarely use my "real voice" when I sing around other people.

6. One of my biggest fears/obstacles is that I'm paranoid that I'm annoying or that people just don't like me and won't tell me to my face.

7. I hide at social events/church/parties/family events/etc because I'm afraid of people. I would rather work at said events than have to face my fear and actually hang out with people.

8. I sometimes fear that I will never amount to anything because of my own inhibitions.

9. I never feel good enough, so I overcompensate in any way I can.

10. I honestly feel like if I just disappeared, no one would notice, much less care, so I alternate between hiding away and being wild and crazy so people will notice me.


I think ten is enough for now. If anyone reads this and wants to post theirs in the comments, feel free to do so. I love you all. Good night and God bless.

MNF.

Are you ready for some FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!?!? All I can say is that Monday Night Football is the only good reason to wake up and survive on Mondays. Seriously, you think I'm kidding... I'm not. MNF=LOVE.


Anyway, enough about true love. So today I wore this shirt I got on Saturday... It's got (old school) Wonder Woman on it and it says "Yeah, I'm pretty super"... Of course I was quizzing the school kids at work to see how many knew who she was... the closest anyone came was a five year old girl who said it was Wonder Girl. The farthest anyone was off was a five year old boy who said it was Ariel (as in The Little Mermaid). The absolute best response? Well, a sweetie named Logan said, with a certainty that was just spectacular, "That's Ms. Cait!" Ms. Kayla responded "No, who's on Ms. Caitlin's shirt?" And Logan repeated "That's Ms. Cait!" (Yeah, no matter how many times anyone tells him my name is CaitLIN, he argues with them and insists my name is Ms. Cait... it's so cute though!). I cannot say I was offended to be confused with Wonder Woman... She is stinkin' GORGEOUS. Anyhoo...


OH! Important news: Jackson.... well.... he got hurt.... Yeah, he was riding the new dirtbike my grandparents bought.... Went a little too fast and hit the tongue of my Papa's trailer... He has a laceration on his liver, bruises on his liver and abdominal muscles, large blister/scrape on his tummy/chest, a concussion, amnesia surrounding the wreck and subsequent ambulance ride and ER trip, and a sore arm. So basically, he needs some prayer. Poor baby is always getting hurt doing things he really shouldn't be doing....


So... I'm just throwing this out there... I think I'm officially half dude, half grandma... At least, at this present moment I am.... Watching football, drinking Dr Pepper, eating junk food, and knitting... Oh me, oh my... Oh well.... Well, I'm gonna get back to the game... Love you all. Goodnight and God bless.

It's been a while...

Wow... It's been a while since I've blogged... Sorry about that. I've been a little bit busy, to put it mildly. Truthfully, I need to take a break before I have a breakdown. If I can just hold out until October 23 and 24, I'll be okay. That weekend I get to go hunting with my daddy! I'm very excited!

Anyway, so for those of you who haven't seen me in a while will be amazed to learn that I did something stupid and got hurt... surprise, surprise. I was messing around with this punching bag, which was no big deal... Until I hit the Everlast tag on the bag, and it pretty much shredded my knuckles. It looks bad, and it hurts about as bad as it looks. In fact, I have to keep it wrapped so I won't hit my hand every two seconds and reopen the cuts. It sucks, but whatever. It's my fault for being stupid, I guess.

So, I have basically decided that caffeine is what makes my heart beat. As in, without it, my heart will stop and I will die. Why would I think this? Sunday I had a good 5 1/2 hours of sleep, which is normal for me. So I drank 4 Dr Peppers and 5 cups of coffee throughout the course of the day, came home by about 8:30, and was pretty much dead to the world. I was exhausted. I kept waiting for the adrenaline and caffeine to kick in, but they never did. I was gone.. (and I ain't back yet [ten points to anyone who knows what song that is*]).


Well, I know this post was short, but I'm currently too scatter-brained to think coherently, so I'm going to go chill out before work. Love you guys, and God bless.










*That was Ain't Back Yet by Kenney Chesney.

"She's so sweet with her get back stare..."

"Big black boots, long brown hair, she's so sweet with her get back stare..." --Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet



Sorry it's been a little while since my last post... I've been a little busy. Anyway, I just have to start off by explaining how my day was... Firstly, I woke up late, then had all whiny kids at work. When I finally got to go on my extended lunch break, my car broke down just as I was about to come back to work (luckily, I always leave early and so I had time to fix my car... and I did know how to fix it... I'm just that good). I had more whiny kids to deal with. I almost lost my cool several times. You know what makes all that kinda weird? I'm still in a really good mood. I mean, I'm starving, sore, and worn out, but I'm happy. I totally don't even know why, but I am.



Oh man... This is actually not too slammed of a week. Last week was totally killer. I mean, it doesn't help that I've been halfway sick for-freaking-ever now... Just saying. But I got to hang out with Seth on Saturday... That was cool. And his DAD was the one that said I could come over... I think his dad actually likes me. I hope so! I love his whole family! Well, all of his family that I know, at least... Anyways...


So I'm officially CPR certified! Yup, I took the 3 1/2 hour long course on Thursday... It was so easy!! So now if anyone starts dying, I'll be able to help, which I hope I never have to do... I honestly hope that whole class was a total waste of my time. Although it would be cool to save someone's life, if I failed, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. So, I really don't want to use my CPR. Of course, if I needed to, I totally would. In a heartbeat. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't help someone who was dying, either. Basically, I would save someone if I had to...


Anyways... I'm going to just relax a bit now, and talk to Seth on the phone... listen to music, maybe shop online a bit more... Goodnight, y'all, and God bless.

Uh ohhh.....

Houston, we have a.. complication. I guess that's what it would be called.. I think I may actually be starting to like Seth... Uhh ohh.... He's just... soooo..... everything I ever asked for. He even chases me. He lets me be alone when I'm upset until he can see that I've calmed down and I'm ready to talk, and then he comes and talks to me... He lets me talk things out until they make sense... And he's so caring. He doesn't have a job, but when he has money, he buys me Dr Pepper. He knows how I like my coffee, and will make it for me without being asked. He calls me beautiful, and means it. He really looks out for me and understands me. I know the age thing is an issue, and so does he. We both know I'm not ready to date, and he said he isn't allowing himself to date until he can drive (so he can drive his girl around and take care of her, not the other way around). He knows that I'm a flight risk. He knows I'm afraid of love. He knows that I'm a nutcase. And he still loves me. He says (that being the operative word here) that he loves me, and has for two and a half years. Anyone that can love me for that long is worthy of at least being considered. I'm just throwing that out there. Oh, and he's willing to wait until I'm ready. He even knows that it could take a long time. I have to get right with myself and God before I can be in a relationship, and he's willing to wait that long. To me, that says a lot about a guy's character. And he's very mature for his age... Plus, his family ROCKS!!! His mom is one of my best friends, and as much as Ethan says he hates me, he opens up to me about a lot of stuff. His dad even likes me! The Hicks invite me on more family outings than my own family does! Which reminds me... I found out Monday that my family was going to Magic Springs... and I wasn't invited. Instead, Meg's boyfriend got my ticket. Well, now my dad has to work, so I'm magically invited. Too bad I DESPISE theme parks. I hate them and my family knows that. Besides, I halfway made plans. I mean, I haven't told my parents about my plans, but I made them. Besides, they weren't going to invite me anyway. I think I'm just going to have to tell them I don't want to go. I really hate theme parks. I don't do anything at them, they're crowded, they're nasty, and I get soooo bored. Basically, when I go, I just hold everyone's stuff while they go on rides and stuff. I think I'll save myself the stress and frustration and just not go. I just hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Anyways, I'm going to go relax a bit before I have to go to work. Love you all, and God bless!

Dude...

So the party was great. Just thought you should all know that. However, all of us "grown up kids" are... hormonal, to put it lightly... so we were all sitting there eating icing and chocolate and talking about dating, when I piped up: "You know, I don't expect a perfect fairy tale... I don't need, or even want, a prince on a white horse... I'd rather have a redneck in a muddy truck" to which Steph replies "You can borrow Thomas if you want. I don't mind if you guys hang out." Thanks Steph, but you can keep your man. I'm kinda looking for my very own. Nice of you to offer, though. It just made me laugh a little.



Which reminds me, I found a quote that made me smile... a lot. It's great:

Roses aren't good symbols of love. I mean, roses only last a few weeks, and that's only if you put them in water. And they really only exist to be pretty. That's like saying "My love for you is transitory and based solely on appearance. But a potato... Potatoes last forever. In fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow stuff if you leave them. That part alone makes it a good symbol. But there's more- there are so many ways to enjoy a potato. You can even make a battery with it. And that's like saying "I have many ways in which I show my love for you." And potatoes may be ugly, but they're still awesome, and that's like saying "It doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you."


Doesn't that freakin' rock?! I totally agree. Of course, I have a strange view of love. The Avett Brothers also said it well in their song, Love Like The Movies: "So you want to be in love like the movies? Well in the movies, they're not in love at all. With a twinkle in their eye, they're just saying their lines, so we can't be in love like the movies." The whole song is so awesome. I love it. It's soooo true though. Everyone expects love to be just like a movie. Yeah... that ain't happenin'. Sorry, girls. I don't want it to be though... It would be predictable, boring, and stupid. I want spontaneous, fun, and challenging. How bad would it suck if you knew exactly how it was going to go down? I mean, I think that's the cause of a lot of divorces. Yeah, a ton are because people got married before they were ready, but I think another problem is that people get bored. You can't keep romance alive if you know what to expect. Of course, this is coming from a single gal, but still... I think I got a pretty good handle on this one....Correct me if I'm wrong, though. Even if it means there will be fights, I don't want a boring, safe romance. I'm not safe with anything else I do in life, so why should I be boring and safe in love? That just wouldn't make sense. And, yeah, there's a greater chance I'll get hurt. But when I find the guy I'm supposed to be with, it'll be a basquillion times better for it. I just know it.



I'll get down off of my soapbox now... Haha. Nah, really I just need to go clean up my room so I can go to bed... Otherwise I shan't be up in time for church... And that would be sooo bad. Good night, and God bless!