Woah bro!

Woah... I totally forgot this even existed! But not only does it exist, there's an app for that! Psychedelic, man! I KNOW there's no way anyone is still here (except me), but hey, that just means I can vent and write and make myself happy! Well, Saturday is my birthday (it's the big 2-1, son!) and that means..... I'm getting tatted up! Yes, the mild-mannered daycare/Sunday School teacher is getting a tattoo. Of course, it's a tattoo of a portion of a Bible verse in the original Greek, but still: TATTOO! And the very next day is Super Bowl Sunday! Legality, tattoos, and football = the makings of a fantastic weekend. I'm excited. However, it's only Tuesday, which means tomorrow is Wednesday, and Wednesday means early mornings and late nights (that are technically just SUPER early mornings). With that being said, good night and God bless. :)

Hakuna matata..

Well, it's been quite a while since I last posted.. Sorry to all the people who read this, although I doubt anyone really does. This is basically my own personal diary. However, I suppose I should fill everyone in on what's happening in my life right now. First and foremost, I have finally broken my first bone... I think. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm fairly positive that my toe is indeed broken. Funny story, actually.. I was at KidLife at the GLR campus and Timmy (I'll come back to him later) decided I needed to learn how to do a handstand and he was just the guy to help. So next thing I know, he's holding my feet in the air. I was doing fine... then he let go. And down I came, thus breaking my poor big toe. Oh well.. Hakuna matata, right? For those of you who haven't noticed, that is very quickly becoming my most commonly used phrase. Okay, now back to Timmy. I don't want to speak too soon, since I did just get dumped (by Josh Hoover, a relationship that lasted all of 20 days or so), but he and I are "talking", as the kids these days like to say. He made it very clear that he is interested in me and would like to take me on a date, but he's also made it very clear that he's content being single too. That leaves the ball in my court. All I can say is that I am interested in him too. Last night, he and I Skyped for around three and a half hours. And I never once got bored. It doesn't hurt that he and I are pretty similar. And that his Facebook timeline AND his blog now reference me (never by name, but I'm smart enough to know who he's talking about). I'm pretty happy about it, too. Even Megan said we were going to date, and she doesn't know any of that stuff. But anyway, moving on. In other news, I'm looking for a job, so if you know of anything good, let me know. Ideally, I would like a job that gives me nights and weekends off and that is fairly local to me, so I don't spend ALL my money on gas. Especially with my car being broken down and all. Eh, life is good. I've been pretty content here lately. Yeah, I have my bad days, but for the most part, I'm pretty happy. God is great, and He's doing great things for me. Ya gotta love that, no? Well, I think I'm out for now. No promises I'll be back soon. See y'all next time! God bless!

"Ain't going down 'til the sun comes up..."

Well, we bought another horse and a saddle.. Horse will be here in about a week or so.. The saddle fits me perfectly! And the new horse is 4 years old, so we can start breaking her as soon as she gets here! Which means I'll have a lot of work to do.. but that's okay with me! I love working with horses... I'm really excited...

Of course, I have a lot to be excited about right now... New horse, pilates is kicking my booty (I'm already seeing results!), that boy... Yup. Life is good. I'm getting used to my work schedule too, which is good... I thought the 6:30-3 shift would kill me, since Lord knows I don't go to sleep early, but I've just gotten to the point that it's hard for me to sleep longer than 5 or 6 hours, even when I have the option... It just means I wake up in time for the sunrise and the coolest part of the day.

Ooh! All none of you that read this should be so proud of me! I'm becoming confident in my own skin! Which is insanely awesome for me... just saying. I've always hated just about everything about myself, but I'm getting to the point that I actually like myself for me! It's pretty awesome, actually... According to my daddy, that's why more guys have taken an interest in me here lately.. I'd believe it... Maybe one day I'll get one of them to be in a relationship with me... If I'm really lucky, he won't be creepy, unattractive, or unintelligent! Now, if I can just keep my foot out of my mouth for the most part (which is really hard for me), then maybe I'll accomplish some stuff... Maybe.

Anyway, I should really go to bed soon.. I won't, but I really should, so maybe if I stop blogging, I'll be more likely to go to sleep. I love you guys! Goodnight and God bless!

"Free and easy down the road I go..."

So, basically, I'm procrastinating right now.. I really don't feel like cleaning yet, and since I'm gonna be home alone all day (and probably all night), it doesn't really matter when I clean, right? Anyway... I think I'm going to like this summer... I've made some new friends, have some awesome stuff planned, and I'm talking to this super cute boy. Yup. Me. I am. It's that boy from the bowling alley... I messaged him on Facebook, where he said he lost my number and asked me for it.. So I gave it to him, and we've been talking nonstop since then... It's pretty exciting, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up too high... I've learned from my previous mistakes... I've gotten smarter than that. Still though, it's nice to talk to a guy who isn't psycho... For some reason, I tend to attract unattractive psychos... This guy is the total opposite though... He's definitely someone you would think I would be attracted to, purely because of how different we are about so much stuff... He kinda reminds me of a guy version of Megan, if that makes any sense at all.. Anyway, I'm gonna go clean house a bit, then shower and go pick Meg up from work.. Who knows, I may do something fun tonight! Haha! I love you guys!! God bless!

"We'll all be drinking that free bubble up, and eating that rainbow stew..." :)

So I had a good night... My day wasn't so hot, but my night was good. I slept for literally TWENTY HOURS STRAIGHT. Yeah... I had a migraine... But Megan forced me to go out with her tonight. We went to Chili's and then the Midnight Oil Coffeehouse in Searcy. When we arrived, there was a live show going on. The musician? Matthew Huff.. He's not only a fantastic singer/guitarist/songwriter, but he's pretty darn cute too. This guy we met while there kept trying to get me to go talk to him, since he and Matthew are friends, but I'm way too shy for that mess... It's a curse.... Ohh well. One day I'll be able to talk to guys... Maybe.. Doubt it... But whatever. I guess when the time is right, either I'll have the confidence to approach the man who's "the one", or he'll approach me and I won't totally blow it. I'm just being patient and waiting on that day to come.


Anyway... I think I need a vacation. One of the dads at daycare came to get his kid and when he saw me, he said "You look like you need a vacation!" I think he may be right... Considering how tired/stressed/frustrated I've been, which is probably the biggest reason for all my migraines lately... Speaking of stress... Yesterday, my Papa got to see me get REALLY angry. I was driving with him and this guy just pulled out right in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes so hard that my Anti-Lock kicked in. I literally punched the horn. I was so mad, I was shaking. All Papa said was "That guy didn't even look!". He said nothing about the fact that his sweet little granddaughter just punched a steering wheel (and didn't even flinch). Oh, it was bad. But I got over it and had a good day. I'm just saying though, if you make me mad enough that I honk at you, you've made me pretty mad. That was only the second time I've used my horn (in an angry manner).

Okay, well, I should probably get ready for bed, even though I'm not tired... I know I need to sleep, or I'll be exhausted tomorrow... Before I go, though, I shall leave you with the link to Matthew Huff's website. He's REALLY good, so you should check him out! He can be found on Facebook and Twitter too!


www.matthewhuffmusic.com


Goodnight and God bless!!

Holy smokes, Batman!

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted... Well, I didn't have internet, so I can't really be blamed for that, can I? Okay, so I'll dive right in... Boys. Are. Stressful. I've been on one (basically) blind date... Bad idea. After ONE WEEK he was trying to meet my family and tell me he could be a "batter lover"... Did I mention he was kinda, umm, slow? Yeah.. Then a boy told me he loves me... Like, he's in love with me.. I replied "No you're not..." which confused him, but only for a bit... then I met a random boy in WalMart... Luckily, he hasn't been creepy. Then an ELEVEN YEAR OLD boy at work got in trouble from his daddy for intentionally getting a little too close to my chest area... Which he does frequently... So apparently, that isn't on accident. This is the same kid that said I have a "big butt"... I mean, good Lord, all I attract are creepers, perverts, and people way younger than me. Can I get a normal guy please? I guess God is just bombarding me with weirdos so that when I meet the right guy, he'll seem that much more amazing... It's gonna be great.. Can I request a country boy though? I love me some country boys... Dierks Bentley is my current love... haha.


Anyway, for those of you who haven't heard, I got a full ride plus $250 a semester for ASU Beebe for four years.. I think I'm going to major in Spanish, but I have no clue what to minor in! I don't know what I want to do, or even what I'm good at.. I just know I want to major in Spanish. Which means I really need to start working on my Spanish again... I've forgotten some. I'm excited though. I'm pretty proud of myself; I've had a year off, and I'm still pretty good.


So, we have officially moved in. Everything is unpacked and all. It's really nice out here, although I will say it was nicer back when I lived here alone... haha. I enjoy solitude, I suppose. It was nice to be able to be a total   dummy and know that no one would walk in on me... I could blare my music, dance around, and just generally act like myself without having to be quiet or worry about being a disturbance... I don't know what I'm going to do once I get married and don't even have my own room anymore! I guess I'll just have to marry a guy that likes me to be weird! Maybe one of those exists... somewhere...


Well, it's getting late, and I still have plenty to do tonight, so I'm going to sign off for now! Perhaps I'll be back soon (not that anyone really reads this... ha!). Love you all! Goodnight and God bless!

Blessed...

So, today, the power at my house went out. I was so frustrated. I had to shower (and shave my legs, which is scary enough with lights on... using sharp objects in the dark is mortifying!) with nothing but candles for lights. Then when I got out, I realized I couldn't get online, dry my hair, open the garage door to leave (I had to raise it manually), cook food, or even see to put on makeup. I was so frustrated. I legitimately thought to myself "This must be what it's like to live in a 3rd world country." Then I mentally slapped myself. That was the stupidest, most selfish, idiotic thing I could ever have even thought. I am ashamed to know that I thought that way. Because, although it did stink that my power was out, I had hot, clean water with which to shower, clean clothes to wear, a house to live in, a car to drive, money in my purse, the ability to drive to McDonald's to get food, a job to be headed to, a radio to listen to gospel music, the ability to learn about God without fear of imprisonment or death... The list goes on and on and on. I am blessed. We all are. Yet we sit here and whine about little things that don't even matter. Therefore, I'm going to start praying (though I'm pretty sure I already know the answer) about sponsoring a child through Holt International. I've wanted to for a while now, but my mom talked me out of it. However, it's only $30 a month. If I have to cut back on fast food or Dr Pepper, so be it. I'm sure my body will thank me for it anyway. I'm sorry I got preachy, but I see flaws in myself that I need to fix, and by posting them on here, I bring it from the back of my mind to the very front. So that's my preaching for tonight.


Anyway, I think I may have a small problem... I don't get hungry anymore... Well, I do, but I don't eat hardly anything and I'm full. Tonight I had a small piece of chicken for my dinner. That's it. I had a halfway normal lunch, but it's gotten to the point that I eat one to one and a half meals a day.. I haven't lost too much weight though, so I guess it's okay for now. I don't know if I'm getting depressed, or what, but I really don't want to deal with it right now. I have too much going on. Which reminds me, my schedule at work is changing... I was working 10-6, but as of March 28, I will be working 6:30-9:30, then 3-6... At least I'll have time to squeeze in a nap between loads of laundry before I have to go back in to work... Lord, have mercy. Plus, on Spring Break, I'll be pulling a full time shift. Yay. Then there's church stuff... And Torie now has it in her head that she needs to make me feel beautiful and worthy of love... So that's gonna be fun... and by fun, I mean that every time anyone tries that, I ultimately feel worse than I did to begin with. I walk away exceptionally aware of how single, unloved, and unattractive I feel.. And I can't tell people that, because no one will just listen. Everyone wants to "fix it". No one has figured out you can't "fix it". I just want to be able to tell someone how I feel. But I know that won't happen. I can't even put it all on here for fear that someone, somewhere is reading this. I need God. I'll stop whining now...


Goodnight, and may God continue to bless you..